The Maze
by Kali101
Summary: Do you ever feel like your always running, but you always come across a dead end? Maybe you didn't try hard enough- no...you know you didn't...I didn't...and now I can't get out. CHAPTER 7 IS NOW UP! Thank-you! This is NOT an ALVINOR!
1. The Mirror

**Authors Note**

**Here's my new story! I came out with a different one awhile ago, but it wasn't doing very good and I got bored with it, so here's this one...enjoy :) Let me know what ya think! **

**-Kaleigh!**

Silence.

That's all I want to explode around me instead of the intense chatter pounding against my head as I strut down the hallway. Heel's clicking, back straight, leg's excelling forward with sass and class...unlike Whitney who is overdoing her _over-exaggerated_ walk.

That voice is back in my head.

Slowly, but surely it start's building it's enormous amount of self-destruction around my mind and a piercing ounce of anxiety ripple's through me, but it's really small this time, so there's no big deal...I won't need to escape and deep breath my way through today, so it's fine.

_-Really?_

-Absolutely.

I feel a quick, precise slap on my backside and jump up a bit due to surprise, but it's not really a surprise at all. My lower half should be practically immune to the annoying routine of their lustful hand's...

_-Where's your boyfriend?_

-Umm...who?

_-Hmm...still playing their game? When will you win already?_

**-**At some point...possibly.

I almost whip out my hand and slap them back...in the face. Since they deserve it and _he's _not around...

_-Where is he!_

**-**Hmm...probably practicing...he's busy...I'm busy...it's fine.

I can handle it.

Taking one last glance, searching for my other half, but with no avail I quickly decide against the retort of a slap and instead join in on their flirtatious quarrel's...might as well give them what they want anyway's...right?

_-Wrong Brittany...wrong...wro-_

-Nah...it's fine.

"_Brittany! New shoe's again? I love them! They are super cute!"_

Turning around, I see Holly exuberantly running towards me...as always. I'm about to flash a small smile until Whitney cast me the "look" before arrogantly flipping her hair and criticizing Madison on her lack of knowledge or something...

The look get's to me though...it tells me to push away Holly because she isn't important...she isn't worth _Brittany Seville's _time...only certain people get that luxury and she didn't make the cut, but she didn't for cheer either so it's no surprise.

"Yeah they are. Way to point out the obvious." With a practiced eye roll and a casual flip of my golden lock's, I turn on my heel's and continue making my grand appearance down the runway...wanting to get away, so then I won't turn around and see the-

_-Look on her face? Ya...way to go...she look's upset-_

-So..?

_-So...your kind of a bitch._

-Mmm... your wrong, you just disagree with her...the _best-ie._.

Silence.

That shut her up.

Flipping out my diamond encrusted cellphone and proceeding to text away the rush of energy around me, I suddenly find myself turning a corner and stumbling upon-

_-Yes! It's him!_

-And your point is...?

_-He usually straightens you out...maybe he could-_

-Nope...she's there.

As always.

I watch silently as her dull green eye's pierce into his stunning deep blue one's as she laugh's out loud, her messy pony tail's flopping around aimlessly, her arm casually touching his, it's disgusting, but I'm not threatened-

_-Yes you are-_

-No...I'm not.

He would never like her...she's...fat. Not-as charismatic...not pretty and definitely _not _ranking under the category entitled hot and she's...made of cellulite...so fat...gross. Barely any make-up...slouching figure...boring sweatshirt...and dirty black converse...of course. Definitely not fashionable...at...all. She's fat too...or did I already mention that?

My mind is slightly cut off from _that voice _due to the aching in my chest...the air around me grows thick, I think I might be having another panic attack-no I'm fine. I don't panic.

Never.

My eye's start to play tricks on me though and suddenly I start seeing her gigantic figure lean forward. She's going to kiss him! I knew it! I knew this would happen! I- wait. Oh...she's just whispering something in his ear...wait...what..?

Wanting this to end immediately, I somehow make a right turn in the endless hazy maze- well I think it is...maybe. I imagine it being thick and lush with the most obvious relief...I'm almost out...almost free- oh wait. I'm back where I started...again.

_-See? Your not even trying to win...you-_

-Stop...just..leave.

"Alvin! Where have you been? I waited for you in the gym earlier, but you never came..."

He's turn's to me and casts out a half-smile...obviously not very excited that I ruined their_ little moment_, but isn't that suppose to be me? Wasn't I there...like what? Two years ago? How do I get out of this maze? Why do I always' go back to the beginning?

-Not a word.

She- _the voice _must be off somewhere, probably frustrated from earlier...she's does that sometimes.

"Brittany, you know I have basketball practice-

"Ya..? So..? You could have met up with me after, I have cheer at the same time..."

Alvin chance's a quick glance at..._her_. The blonde.

My opposite.

She's sends him an apologetic look before slowly walking away, stumbling a bit on the way through the thick crowd of people.

"I guess so, but then Ellie and me got to talking...sorry."

Ya I noticed.

Like _always_.

"Mmm...well whatever...too late now I guess. I have somewhere to be."

"Britt-

My body does a quick 180 degree turn and I hurriedly walk away, but prideful in each step I take. No stumbling. I should have though...the aching in my chest is so rough now that I feel like falling over and collapsing to the ground. It would cause a huge epidemic of course, but I somehow wouldn't mind. I would eat up the mass attention.

I was born to be noticed.

Slowly...I feel the pain start to slightly subside as I think of cheer practice. Not of him or her. Or of him and her. No. That would never happen. I'm not even worried...because I don't worry...that's not even a word in my dictionary. People look at me. A lot. If they saw the tension on my face, in my voice, or itching at the center of my eye's then I would be done. Every muscle in my body that work's so hard physically..._mentally _each day would be shattered to piece's, but I can't help but think that maybe...if I don't stop then-

_-You'll have lost everything important to you...so you-_

-I won't. Everyone love's me too much, plus the maze is kinda confusing and I'm..._me_...that just doesn't happen.

_-Guess we'll see..._

-Hmm.

* * *

Running.

The best cure for anxiety...well at least for me.

Plus it burn's off calorie's.

_-But you don't need too, your already skinny-_

-It doesn't matter, I have a figure to keep up.

_-Did Whitney tell you that?_

Silence.

I ignore her as I continue to pump my feet in short stride's on the treadmill. I imagine myself running in the maze. I turn every corner with little caution, and when I falter due to lack of energy, I push myself harder because I know if I don't...then everything will fall apart. I just know. I don't worry about what's around the corner...because I'm perfect and nothing can touch me.

I keep going...never stopping.

Eventually though, I get to a dead end...confused I turn around, but as my body makes that full rotation I stumble back in surprise to see another dead end. Mentally cursing myself for my weakness, I finally see a small opening on the right and without a second thought...shove right through. That's when I see it...a crystal square shaped mirror floating elegantly in the heavy air.

Curious, I slowly walk forward, anxious to see my reflection, but it's not me...

It's my life.

My heart speeds up as I see him and her..._together. _

Again_. _

_A_nd..._her_. The best-ie. She's arguing with me for no particular reason and I'm arguing back, but slowly I stop and deal with it, since there's just no use in shutting her up. Looking closely, I see him again...he's stunning...his eye's are so intense...everything is calm...but he's angry...he look's done...but I'm...we...suddenly...I...he...were...

Fighting.

Again.

He's running his hand through his hair in frustration and my voice is speedily becoming higher and higher with each gesture I make until finally we both explode in rapturous animosity and I rush out...but he doesn't notice my hurt expression or regretful tear's...he can't see my defeated body weakly sliding down the door as another piece of my heart painfully breaks off...again.

The mirror fade's black.

Gasping for air, I run back, but again there's another dead end...and this time I don't even let my mind decide because I can't because I'm freaking out...again. My leg's swing forward in a hazy rush, not even making a decision on where to go...I just keep going, anywhere, but there..._anything_, but that mirror...that horrible...degrading thing...with it's lie's...that's what it is...lies.

It's all lies.

My vision is becoming blurry, and my leg's feel weak again as my throat gasps for air...anything, but nothing. The air is cut thick in humidity and suddenly...I just want to leave. I want it all to go away and be normal again...as everything was before is how it should be now...my leg's keep pumping as does my heart, slowly but surely I see the ending. I'm almost out! I'm free...it's over with...I'll be ok now...I...it's ok...I...I'm...

Back at the beginning.

It was all a lie.

I have to start over...again.

Slamming down on the tiny red button on the treadmill, I stumble off, not caring since no one is around..and I sit against the wall...my heart is pounding a million mile's a minute and all I can think is that I didn't make it...again.

I didn't try hard enough...again.

I'm back at the beginning...

Again.

**Author's Note**

**Well...what do ya think? REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED! Lol! Thank-you for reading! I want to hear your feedback! Thanks!**

**-Kaleigh!**


	2. Perfection

**Author's Note**

**Here is chapter 2! Thanks for the reviews everyone! :)**

**-Kaleigh!**

The _mirror_.

Away from the maze and it's dreadful truth of a image...this time was different.

Looking at my stunning reflection...I can't help, but think that I was obviously created to be noticed...to be beautiful...so exquisitely gorgeous in every way possible...I was...so pretty...yet...

-_What is he doing with her? Is that it?_

-No...not really, I just-

_-Please, why don't you just tell him...talk to him...just-_

-No. I can't...I can't bother him...he's...so busy...too busy...too busy...no...

Pushing her away as I tightly gripped the counter, I quickly exited the bathroom...not being able to look at myself for any longer...I was busy anyways...today was a special day...so **special**...

_-Really? Partying every freaking Saturday is-_

-Nope not today...today is my vacation, so control yourself please...

_-Pfft...whatever...go and ruin yourself-_

-Shut. Up.

Silence.

Perfect.

Carefully stepping down the long spiral staircase and into the foyer, I had already begun to make plans in my head. What I would wear, how I would walk, what I would say, how my make-up would look, my exit plan if thing's got to...

_-Too much for you to handle? A little out of control? You scared again?_

-No. Never...I can't be...I-

_-Brittany...yes you can...you can-_

-Nope...it won't do.

_-You can't be strong forever..._

-Hmm...we'll see.

Oh look. She's up.

Perfect...

Out of the corner of my eye, I see her flinch slightly in my presence, she takes a quick glance, but upon seeing my ignorant demeanor, she heaves a heavy sigh then walks off.

_-Why do you always do that? She's your sist-_

-That's funny...comparing the two of us you would never know...

_-Your such a bitch..._

-Hmm...should I care?

Rushing down the hallway...upon hearing the blur of laughter and the loud blare of the tv...my heart starts to speed up in a panicked frenzy...

_-Damn. It's kinda early for that isn't it?_

Taking a deep breath and clutching my stomach tightly, I try using my powerful mind tricks to shove the pain away...until I step into the colossal living room where a brown-haired beauty and a _round_ piece of white chocolate were chatting away endlessly...the tv was shouting word's you would find in a soccer game...it was a bit too much...a bit _early _for sure...

"Britt...are you ok?"

Grabbing onto the wall beside me, my head snapped in the direction of his voice...I didn't even notice their concerned looks...even _her_...

_-Yes! Maybe you still have a chance and you can tell him-_

-Yeah right...it will all disappear soon enough...

_-God, your just too optimistic for your own good..._

Alvin rushed over to me and gently felt my forehead...

"I think your burning up..."

My eye's connected with his deep blue one's and for a second I believed that everything was as it was.

We were back to the summer before the beginning of Freshman year...and everything was magical. We _were_ perfect...mean to be that "forever", you know...the kind you see in fairy tales?

The fighting turned into flirting and our "friendship" just took off from their, except...this was real life...and fairy tale's didn't exist...

Once popularity and the status of "extreme attention" over-consumed you and everything with it...we crumpled...faltered slightly...greatly...and pretty soon we were gonna loose it...I could feel us slowly burning away...because...

Of her and him...the partying...my 'best friend'...football...soccer...basketball...lusty hands...vanity...pressure..

_-Brittany...you need to calm down...your going into "overload" again...calm down...your scaring him-_

-What? Scaring him...that's...impossible..

Suddenly I felt myself being easily lifted off the ground, I never did care for a sweets...I used to like chocolate, but that's what she is..._clearly_...and if I gained weight...oh my god...a huge epidemic for sure...it couldn't be tried...too risky...too risky...risky...risky...nope.

Won't do.

My body was met with the soft fabric of the leather couch in _his _room...when did we get up here? That was fast...too fast...fast...

"Britt...say something..."

Closing my eye's...trying to get rid of the awful thought's running around in my head...I felt his hand's caress my face and stomach...just like always...

_-Finally...I told you it was gonna work out...he's too great to let go of...it'll be fine..._

Opening my eye's I was briefly met with his...and for a moment I wanted to break down and wrap myself around him...letting go of everything and let him in...let him know...but I didn't...so close...close...close...close...

Instead I slowly sat up...grabbing his hand's for support and laid my myself against him for comfort...letting myself become weak for just a little bit, but that's it...no more than that...that's it.

"Sorry...I...just had a stomach ache or something and I felt kinda dizzy...but I'm fine..."

His hand smoothed down the side bang's resting on my forehead.

"You don't look very fine..."

"Well I am...and it's already seven..._shit_. I have somewhere to be.."

Right as I was about to make a break for my bedroom, his grip around me tightened...keeping me from escaping...

_-Oooo...guess he knows where your going..._

_-_Damnit...

"Brittany...seriously, you looked kinda wiped out...just stay here-

"No I can't! Everyone is expecting me to be there...I have to go..."

Pushing against his strength, but having no avail in succeeding in getting away...I started to become restless..

"Let me go _Alvin_...I already planned everything out...I'll be fine, but I have to go...their expecting me..."

"Brittany...look at me."

Swallowing hard before letting my eye's become trapped within in his, I cursed silently in my head at his gentle touch and tone...

"You don't _have _to go...Whitney will be fine without you and so will everyone else...you can miss at least one party babe..."

Tangled in the familiar net again; I was caught in between the crazy life or _him_...oh god...

I could feel my head become heavy...and everything was hot...really hot...hot...hot..._hot_...

A dreadful memory escaped passed my security and I couldn't stop it before it was too late...

"_Ya guys I totally scored us some!"_

"_What no way lemme see!"_

"_Ya move, lemme see!"_

_My head instantly whipped around upon hearing all the commotion; I got up and followed the others who were __crowded around Whitney Fuller, also known as the platinum blonde dating the school's famous running back, Alec Whitman._

_Also known as my best friend..._

_**Ya**__..._

_My eye's broke through the dozens of arms in front of me and almost instantly spotted the shiny light brown bottle's settled wildly in Whitney's arms._

"_Oh my god! Patron? Whitney how did you get this?"_

"_I bet your Bro scored it for you huh?"_

"_Well yea..duh. Where else would I get it? I'm only fifteen..."_

"_Sweet. Now we can really have a party. Call up the boy's. Tonight's gonna rock..."_

_My throat sent out spasms of fake giggle's, and sarcastic smiles as we all waited impatiently for the guy's to arrive, but once they showed up clad in football jersey's and loose-fitted jeans, the simple sleepover turned into a night of regretful drinking and accidental closed doors..._

"_Hear Britt..take some...it...hehe..it make's you feel mushy...I never did get that..that..mush feeling, parent's are always in worky land...hah, but now it's..it's a good thing ya know? Take-y Patron-y miss **perfect**..."_

_Gagging at the drunk blabber spewing out of the now drunk Whitney, I grabbed a bottle from her, hoping to never hear her dull voice again, but right as I was about to set it down, a hand roughly grabbed my wrist, swiftly pulling me up to their level._

"_Brittany! There's that **hot**tie...now what have you got in your hand's sexy?"_

_Brad Hartman._

_Former star quarterback before Alvin took his place was...drunk before me._

_Figures..._

"_Umm Brad...your kind of drunk, so if you could kindly let go of arm, that'd be great." I stated blandly, taking careful notice of his red bloodshot eye's and breath that reeked of...whiskey?_

"_No...it's ok..come here...I..I want to show you something." Keeping up my guard as Brad dragged me into Whitney's parent's bedroom, slamming the door behind him, I quickly broke away._

"_What are you doing...I need to show you..come...come...here." He immediately grabbed my waist with both hands and lifted me onto the bed._

"_Brad...stop! Your drunk..." I tried squirming out of his grasp, but I knew deep down I was no match for his strength._

"_Just relax beautiful...your like...a ten...no a twenty ka-trillion in guy world. You have no imperfections...do you know how many guys would kill...to be me right now? Do you..? Your so...fucking...**hot**.."_

"_No and I don't care. Just lay off okay? Seriously Brad let go of me!"_

"_Stop fighting it Britt...you know you want me...I know your ready..." Right as his grip loosened I broke out of his tight grasp and flung open the bedroom door then quickly ran out into the living room, and hurriedly collected my stuff._

_I felt a hand grab my shoulder and instinctively I shoved them away from me, ready to run, but instead came face to face with my **real **best friend, who, though had a bottle of patron in his hands, was barely drunk at all if even tipsy and better yet...concern was plastered all over their face instead of drunken drowsiness..._

_Imperfection's caused lessons to be learned, but fear drove into them, causing perfection._

_I would never let an imperfection...touch me...ever again...he was my only exception...cause even he had imperfections..._

He must have if he was "buddy-buddy" with _her_...the round piece of white chocolate...nothing more than fat trash...and not the slutty kind...no way.

Just sloppy.

The memory slowly passed...but Alvin's concern didn't falter one bit.

He came back with a cold rag and pressed it gently against my scorching forehead...almost mending the painful feeling that consumed me...almost...

"Your staying here Britt, look...your fever is pretty bad...I'll tell Elle to-

"Don't. I don't need her help. I will go to Whitney's if you call for her..."

Alvin's eye's became washed over with melancholy for a few seconds before disappearing as he melted his body into mine.

_-Really? She's your sister! Why are you such a bitch! Screw what Whitney says!_

-Don't drag Whitney into this...she hasn't done anything-

_-Do you hear yourself right now? Whitney has done __**everything**__...she is slowly ruining all you have left Brittany..._

-Are you done now? I'd actually like to enjoy this moment...

_-Hmph. Ya. Enjoy it while it lasts..._

Ignoring her pestering comments I focused all my attention on the way Alvin's body felt against mine...we came together so perfectly...it's no wonder every time we strolled down the halls _everyone_ looked up at us wishing they had that kind of relationship...

The kind that was perfect in every way...where there were no cracks, just pure love and beauty...

Ya.

That's what we were...beauty. Two beautiful people and when your beautiful and talented nothing could be wrong...because your perfection drives people to thinking that you have no _imperfections_...

A head cheerleader who is the best in the entire state could never mess up a routine.

A celebrity doesn't need good grade's-no way. She has an amazing voice, so who care's? She already has thousand's..

When your rich you always have on designer clothing...and can get any guy you want...especially when your _Brittany_...

Me.

Brittany Seville.

Most popular girl in the whole school.

Best cheerleader in the entire state.

Has an incredible voice.

Has the hottest guy in school locked onto her and her only..._right_..?

Never has any problem's...extremely charismatic...super hot...hottest girl in the whole school...prettiest eye's...major fashion-ista...perfect...perfect...perfect...perfect...perfect...perfect...perfect...

The girl who was perfect in every humanly way possible and beyond talented in everything that she did...just downright...

_Perfect_.

A girl who parties every weekend has a hella fun time, no problem's what-so-ever...and her boyfriend doesn't care...nope he can't when he is so caught up in his_ athletics_...and _she_ doesn't care because she knows it's important to him...he _could _give some effort to actually _try_ in this relationship...instead of talking to her _opposite_ and fighting with her every night after she sneaks in-wait. Fighting? No way...you know what?

Who care's.

Everything **is **fine...fine...fine...fine...fine...fine...fine..._fine_...

Maybe.

If only they knew...

If only they were thrown into the intense thick air of the cold hearted maze that turned everything upside down, but never showed lies...only the truth...and that's why it hurt so much...

Because the truth always hurts...

Always.

**Author's Note**

**So what do ya think? A bit interesting? Maybe...hopefully? PLEASE review! I wanna hear your thoughts! Thank-you for reading!**

**-Kaleigh!**


	3. Repetitive

****

Authors Note

**Thanks for all the reviews! You guys give AMAZING feedback! Thank-you! **

**Enjoy chapter 3!**

**-Kaleigh! ********

* * *

**

Sleep.

Not possible.

There's so much to do...maybe going over the crazy list will bring what I want most.

Maybe...

Hmm...cheer practice in the weight room...science test...blah...math test...blah blah...A.P english vocab quiz...whatever...sister's soccer match...yuck...don't care...Whitney's party...Alvin's yelling...sister nagging...him _and_ her...talking...blah...blah...blah...pharmacy...little blue bottle...migraine...aching...again...again...again...

_-Whoa chill out...we don't need another overload...it's just sleep._

-Right. Just sleep.

But...sleeping brings silence and silence brings thought's...unwanted one's...cold...scary...hard...fast-beating...painful...agonizing-

Still awake.

Ugh.

You know what...maybe I'll just take a swig of NyQuil...

Ya.

Insomnia sucks.

* * *

"Brittany, can you stay after please?"

Shit.

I have somewhere to be...people to see...I'm needed else where...stupid math...stupid...stupid...stupid...

"**Stupid**. Exactly what this is." She tosses the paper carelessly in front of me...the paper that I had spent a mere five minute's on...I actually tried figuring it out for the first minute, but I've been busy...I just...I don't really pay attention to the material anymore...I couldn't do it...I think I knew what I was doing though..but-nah...**no**...math is a waste of time...I don't need it...I'm perfect...perfect...perfect...I'm...

Stupid.

Yes.

Yes I am.

_-No your not...you knew how to do everything on that test...why can't you just-_

-Shh. The Teacher's talking. We must listen.

_-Ya. **Now** you do..._

Her mouth opens and closes...lecturing me on my lack of effort, my constant texting (Ummm...who cares? Everybody "over texts"...stupid.), she's goes on about how sometimes in a blink of an eye I actually start focusing, and it looks like I'm listening...I'm all ear's, but I'm not there...not really...physically yes, but...not...mentally...mentally...mentally...hmmmm...

She may be onto something...

Not.

About ready to make-up a perfect excuse, so I can get back to my _perfect _life...which is _actually _important...which she would_ never_ in a million milliseconds _ever _understand...she keeps going...on and on...and on...stupid...stupid...stupid...why can't I be more like-oh great...here we go...here we go...go...go...go...going...going...going...going...

_Gone!_

The pain hits me hard as I shove through the hallway making my way to the girls bathroom...needing some alone time...some time for myself..._myself_..._myself_...no one else can touch me here...until _she _walks in...

How do I always get so lucky?

_-Oh god...here she come's...Queen B...manipulative little b-_

_-_Be nice. She's my best friend.

_-Oh my god! Do you here yourself right now? Your disgusting...you disgust me...I-_

"Hey bitch! What's up? Your coming to my party tonight right?"

"Well...I don't know because my sister has this thing and I said I would go-

"Ok good because it wouldn't be a party without..._Brittany_! Oh my god...and it's gonna be so much fun! My brother scored us some hard liquor...the good stuff ya know? And my parent's are out of town...it's Mexico this time...I think..? Business, but whatever the only business I'll be doing is downstairs in the basement tapping some hella hot-

Face mask initiated now.

Smile nod...yes...now look in the mirror...ugh god...there's your perfect face..._perfect_...

Words spew out of her mouth,but I don't hear anything...just that there's a party and her parent's are busy as usual...and her brother is still...well...

Touching up my make-up is getting more and more interesting by the minute...until...

_Wooshh_

The toilet flushes and the sparkly clean blue door swing's open and there she is...it's so fast and so surreal...it all happens in a blur...

Whitney stops talking.

_Thank you god_, but wait-

Here it comes...

The dark-haired girl barely has time to dry off her hand's before running out of the bathroom in tear's.

Her name was Jessica...Jessie?

What was it again...?

Should I care..?

_-**Yes**! God...did you see her face? Her mascara was running...once again Queen B-_

-Umm...what? No I didn't see anything...nope...

Nothing.

It's all so routine.

I was too busy cramming myself into a state of complete oblivion...I barely even noticed the girl's dark black hairband...yellow blouse...light brown uggs...tortured dark blue eye's waiting...begging for it to just happen already...ready...ready...waiting...waiting...scared...waiting...

Ya.

Her name was Jessica.

* * *

Boyfriend.

Oh where are you?

Where are you?

Where...where...where...where...where...where-

Oh!

I found you!

Wait.

Again...again...again...again...there she is.

Doesn't she know the pain she's inflicting? Doesn't he still want us to work? Was freshman year and half of Sophomore a complete and total blur? Doesn't he love...love...love...love...oh god.

Swallowing hard...my throat is super dry...and I feel it creeping up my spine and into my chest...my heart...and it hurt's...like real bad...real bad...bad...bad...bad...

_-Yes Brittany. This is what happens when you become a vain bitch._

-I'm not though...I just...I have people to impress...parties to rock...cheerleading to dominate...beauty to-

_-Sorry sweetheart, but look's aren't everything. _

-Mine are...haven't you seen me? I'm flawless..._perfect_.

_-If your so **perfect** then why is he all over her now? Your sis-_

-Don't say that! Were aren't related...look at her...she's so _fat_...and ugly...gross cellulite...fat...fat-

_-Shut-up! Get out of this cruel game and dump Whitney already...look at what she's done to you-_

-She has done nothing. I am...

Perfect.

Yes.

My eye's flinch as _she _grabs_ his _arm, laughing casually...freely...so carefree...just like we used to be...

Yes.

It's clear now.

Used to be.

* * *

Cheer practice.

Let's see...fifty crunches...thirty push-ups...one minute of mountain climbers and repeat...over and over...five times...until...

"Okay let's head over to the weight room, you can do whatever...just make sure your actually _doing _something...umm...**Ashley**! I suggest you start with hand-press...you need some muscle in your arm's...their flailing at games..."

Silence.

She nods her head obediently.

We run up the stairs...yes.

A run.

That's exactly what I need...

I step onto the middle treadmill and punch in a flat course. 3.1 miles at a six-minute-mile pace.

Yeah.

I want to feel it.

Lauren takes the treadmill beside me trying to match my pace.

Oh yeah?

I crank it up a notch...faster...faster...faster...

The room heat's up quickly and suddenly I'm on fire...burning...burning...hot...hot...thick air...thick...can't breathe...

The maze.

I'm back in the clutches of it's tight crowded bushes made of twig's and branches...cutting across my face as if they were memories passing by in a frenzy...or maybe even people passing by in a hallway...memories...frenzy...memories...frenzy...memories-

Ya.

I'm back in hell.

My skin is scorching hot...I can feel the sweat dripping down my forehead as I run...faster...faster...can't let up..

No.

Gotta push harder...and harder...as I mentally prepare my escape...but...

Where to go?

Running...running...running...running...running...

Dead end.

Of course.

I turn around, slightly worried, but then I just push harder and I keep pushing...loving the feel of the sweat drench my body...thank-you sweet thick air...but, with every step I take my breathing accelerates...and it hurts.

The pain in my chest...I can feel it and it kills...pressure dives in and I take the blow...yet...I still...

_Push harder_.

Mentally I am prepared this time...there will be no mirror with it's outrageous _truth_ getting in my way-crap.

Dead end again.

Swiftly turning around I continue running...my legs are aching...ache...ache...ache...ow...all is tight around me...the air.

You could slice it it's so thick in here...so hot...excruciating...wait...opening...opening...opening...small...tiny...opening...no.

My feet stop.

I can't.

That's where the mirror is...but, in a rush I turn my head in many different directions...praying...hoping...anything...please...anything...anything...but...nope.

There is no other way out.

Now I feel nausea...pain...deep searing pain...and it only gets worse the longer I stand here over-consuming my mind...running was better than this...**this**...is just plain torture...god...it hurts so bad...my thoughts are hazy and I shove through the opening and...

_BAM!_

There it is...the devil itself...hanging in mid-air like it's some kind of stuck-up Queen-

_-Hmm...maybe it represents you..._

-Wait a minute. You? How are you here right now?

_-I'm always here._

Silence.

She's gone.

I hate it when she does that...why does she leave anyway? Maybe I need her-wait...what?

No.

I don't need anyone.

Let her be.

A bit on edge, I turn around and crap...crap...crap...

Mistake...mistake...mistake...stupid psychotic piece of-

Crap.

The mirror sucks me in, but this time all that I can see is my reflection...

That's it.

But...it kills me...this is the worst image I could ever possibly see right now, and suddenly I wish to see what I saw last time..anything but..._myself_...anything...anything...please...

Too late.

Everything is flawless...not one pimple...or scar...or wrinkle...or blemish...my hair is in pristine condition...my cheeks showing off their gorgeous structure...my eye's...my stunning ice blue eye's...like a sparkling pool that could capture you in an instant if you get to close...perfect...perfect...everything is so perfect...perfect...

Oh. My. God.

I can _really _feel it now...the pressure is building...building...building...I'm going to explode...I try looking away, but I can't...I'm locked in...all I can see is...perfect...perfect...perfect...so perfect-ugh!

Get me out already! Ok...ok...I admit it! I'm scared! I need that close feeling-god boyfriend where are you? I need you _now_...need...need...need...need...

Nobody is here.

It is only I and the cold rustle of the bushes whispering word's of disappointment...just like my sister's...or Dave...or my teacher's...or like _him_...so disappointing Brittany...disappointment...disappointment...disappoint-

My breathing is erratic now, but I still can't escape my taunting reflection...bullets of pain shoot through my chest and heart as if it were an easy target...but no.

I'm..._me_.

Brittany.

_The _Brittany.

I'm not an easy target...my heart doesn't let people in...it stays locked up in a tight cage...no...love...love...love...weak...no...love...only...exception...love...him...boyfriend...only..._him_.

No...no...no...no...

It shows his face now...he's disappointed _again_ and-**BAM**.

I'm back at the beginning.

Surprise..?

I break down.

A second _sloooowly_ passes by before my blurry eye's just barely catch Whitney's hand slam down quickly on the small red button.

Familiar...? Ya..?

Everyone stares at me, their faces plastered with...shock, but I can't think...or feel...my body is completely numb.

I pass out for a few minutes then easily shoot up wide awake and blame it all on excruciating cramps...

Close enough.

But...my mind is still scrambling as I drive home...

Back at the beginning...beginning...beginning...beginning...beginning...

Again.

Such a disappointment...

* * *

**Author's Note **

**So how was it? A few of you guys are saying that its a bit confusing to understand which is COMPLETELY understandable, so if you feel this way just PM me and I will explain everything that confuses you! Don't be afraid to ask me questions. :) Oh and review...ya? Please...? Lol. Thanx for reading! =D **

**Chapter's will get longer! Promise! **

**Sorry if it's a bit choppy! It will get more filled-in!**

**-Kaleigh**


	4. Lust

**Authors Note**

**Wow! Your feedback rocks everyone...really..thank you SOOO super much! Lol. **

**I'm really sorry for the bad grammar ! I know a lot of you hate it, but I'm just not the best at grammar, so sorry!**

**Enjoy chapter 4!**

**-Kaleigh!**

**

* * *

**

Football.

Boyfriend...quarterback.

Me.

Head cheerleader...duh.

Yes.

We look _fabulous _together.

Varsity soccer captain and quarterback together...

Absolutely revolting...

Clashing...clashing...clashing...clash...clash...clash...

Smoothing down my light blue pleated skirt, I got ready and stood in position before calling out the cheer.

BLUE. AND. WHITE.

_Clap._

LET'S GO BLUE!

_Pause. _

LET'S GO WHITE!

_Pause._

BLUE. AND. WHITE.

_Clap!_

Forty fingers press sharply into my back, swinging me up into the air allowing my legs to kick into a perfect 360 degree spin then land safely back into the arms of my teammates.

"Oh my god Brittany! That looked amazing! How do you do a Barrel Role so well when I can't even get down my split lift...?"

I swung my left leg over my right into a backwards v and stretched away all the pain that comes with the position of being a perfect head cheerleader.

Yes.

_Perfect._

"Well...it's called persistence, strength, agility, and..flexibility..which let's be honest Lexi...you really need to work on those..."

Lexi's shoulder's dropped in defeat as she plopped down onto the blue mat beside me. Her short, thin leg's criss-crossing in a melancholy-like manner.

_-Your should say something...give her some encouragement...she's really nice-_

-Nope. I'll deal with it later.

Getting up and back into position the rest of the night went on...fake smiles...intense routines and cheers...until Mr. Boyfriend scored the winning touchdown. Again.

Typical.

The crowd went insane...absolutely ballistic...it got even better once I bounced over there and planted one right on his lips as a congrat-whoa...what..?

No...I didn't.

I haven't done that in...in...well...

Ya.

So instead...after I took off my shoes and slipped on some comfortable black thick-heeled flip flops...who do I see running over to me like crazy...?

You guessed it...

The best-ie!

Her fake platinum blonde hair swishing in the dim lighting of the locker room. She's babbling on and on about her party tonight...I tell her I'm busy, but she doesn't listen like usual, but that's ok because were "best-friends" and best-friends just...well...it isn't fun to fight...no fighting...fighting...fighting...fighting...

Silence.

Pressure.

It's coming again...luckily the best-ie already skipped off to party central, but I think I heard her say something about _my_ car...beer...boys...crap.

They're all waiting for me I'm sure, but it's just a memory...another one..._again_...memory...memory..._it'll pass_...

_Fighting_...

_Again..._

"_Shh...we...we have to be quiet..."_

"_Whatever...I'mma...a...go...now..."_

_Rolling my eye's at her clearly drunken demeanor...I snuck in through the back slider door, easily swiping my card through the thick security...**wait**...slide...**wait**...step inside...**wait**...sweep through the curtain...**wait**...step in...wait-_

_Crap._

_Really...again?_

"_Wow...three A.M.. I think that's a new record for you..."_

_I force myself to look into his eye's. Acting prideful with every moment...every glance._

_Show no shame...no shame...no shame..._

"_Hmm...maybe I'll make it into the book of world records...lucky me.." I smile widely, tauntingly...not letting his pissed-off look phase me...oh-wait._

_He isn't pissed off...yet..._

_He's use to this...so...old...old...familiar...old...outdated...on-going..._

_Staring into his cold eye's...he's tired. Very tired. He stayed up again. Waiting for me. Again. Maybe he does care-**nope**._

_Here it comes...here we go...again...again...over and over...over...over..._

"_Is there something we need to discuss? Because if not...I'd like to catch some sleep now..."_

"_Oh...**now **you'd like some sleep? You could have gone to your sisters cook-off and then caught some-_

_My eye's turn cold...mirroring his perfectly...perfection...perfect...**perfect**..._

"_She's **not** my **sister**."_

_Alvin threw his hands up in disbelief._

"_Do you hear yourself right now Brittany! What the hell is wrong with you? She hasn't done anything to you! Yet you-_

_Blah...blah...blah..._

"_-And your always partying-_

_Blah...blah...blah...blah..._

"_-Why can't you just see what your doing to yourself-_

_Blaaahhhhh...blaaaahhhhhhhh...blaahhh._

_Face mask initiated._

_Oh yes._

_My eye's bore into his...as if to say "Are you done yet? Can we get this over with already, so I can go and commit suicide?"_

_I'm obviously not wanted anyways..._

_His voice stops._

_He slowly step's forward...his fury calming down...becoming more saddened...more...sad...so...so...sad...he takes my hand's in his._

"_What happened to you Britt...? Why are you doing this? Why are you such a-_

_He stops himself, but it's already too late...my mind was already in overload during all the commotion, except for my face which showed no emotion...**nothing**...and now...tears are leaking down my face...he can't see as I...I run into my room...slam...slam...slam...the door...slide down...beginning my five minute's of weakness..._

_I couldn't do it._

_Again._

_I couldn't watch the disappointment flicker in his eye's.._

_Again._

_I break down inside...it hurts...a lot...the pressure is intense...there's a little neglect squished in there too..._

_He didn't even compliment me on my cheer routine at the pep rally today..._

_So perfect..._

_Yet.._

_Such a disappointment._

"Brittany! Hellooo? Come on! Everyone is waiting for us!"

My mind is still shut down as I nod my head solemnly...getting up...and into my car...driver's seat...everyone hoots and hollers their _already _tipsy slurring...**six** guy's...**three** girls...Whitney...Madison...**me**...drive off...party...party...party...get off me...don't touch me...**thanks**.

Party...party...party...get off me...**stop**...party...party...wish boyfriend were here...**number forty**...party...party...dodge the douche bag guys...party...still **not** drunk...party...**never** get drunk...spiked alcohol...numbingly scary drugs...party...let go of me...that's off limits...party...**stop**...**touching**...**me**...party...stop.

Leave.

Slide up the endless driveway...lights off...sneak inside...**wait**...hope...**wait**...hope...boyfriend...yell...yell...block out...block out...block out...shut down...overload...slam...slam...disappointment...eye's blurry...tears...tears...disappointment...perfect...perfect...perfect...perfect...

Disappointment.

Again...and again...and again...and again.

A piece of my heart and mind break off again.

I can feel myself slowly slipping away...not even _she _can help me...she's not even here...

I'm alone.

It's dark.

My thoughts lose themselves and I start to fade away...but not yet completely gone...almost though...almost...almost...I'm getting there...so close...almost...almost...almost...

But...I'm still alone...and...

I hate the dark.

* * *

It was time for a change...a huge change...I would appear to be slipping away...worse than ever, but if only they knew...if only...if only...if only...

Yes.

Vanity.

Yes.

My plan would work...they'll watch me transform into something huge...something scary... I would show them...while I change.

I will change and all will be _as was_...

It's going to work out...

Yes...I am a bitch.

Yes...I am so goddamn perfect.

Oh yes.

Just watch.

Just wait.

They'll see.

And then...when all is almost lost...

They'll see that I was always there...

_I _never left.

_I _am still here, so beautiful plan here we go.

You'll see.

But we must pay attention...pay attention...attention...attention...

Doubtful, but maybe.

We'll see.

_Pay attention_...

* * *

Spring.

No more football.

Basketball..?

Why...of course!

Busy...busy...boyfriend...always so busy...

Hmm.

_**We're gonna spell fight in a way that's better!**_

_**So when I say get on up, you just shout the letter!**_

_**Get up on, F!**_

_**Get up on, I!**_

_**Get up on, G!**_

_**Get up on, H!**_

_**Get up on, T!**_

_**What does that spell?**_

_**FIGHT!**_

_**What do we do?**_

_**FIGHT!**_

_**What do we do?**_

_**FIGHT!**_

_**One more time,**_

_**FIGHT!**_

_**F-I-G-H-T, FIGHT!**_

_Flip...spin...smile...land...smile..._

Landing safely in the arm's of my girl's then speedily standing up once again, I performed a quick hurkey, cheering as loud as my voice could carry in spirit of our basketball team who was down by 2 point's... thirty left on the clock...

Sean had the ball...then quickly passed it to Garrett who hesitated, dribbling it forward, stalling...playing around...

"_Come on Garrett! Pass the ball!"_

"_Stop messing around! Pass it already!"_

"_Pass it to Seville! Garrett! To **SEVILLE**!"_

Garrett glanced nervously at the coach before tossing it over to Alvin who, though had two people on him and ten second's left on the clock...managed to dribble around them, and jump up effortlessly off the ground, launching himself into the air and taking the shot...if he didn't make this three-pointer then the game was over and a deadly defeat would follow...

_Five...four...three...two...one..._

Everyone painfully watched as the ball looped twice around the band of the hoop before...slowly dropping in...

_**BEEP!**_

The crowd went wild, screaming like there was no tomorrow...waving around the blue and white flag's like crazy...ecstatically jumping up and down madly...

Blonde.

Not platinum.

_Her_.

She was in the stands...since she would **never **make it as a cheerleader...but what was more important right now was the fact that _she _was watching _him_.

What. The. Hell.

Could her pathetic little crush be anymore prominent?

Pathetic...pathetic...that's what she was...

So...**pa**...**the**...**tic**.

Ugh.

So not related.

Dropping my sparkly blue and white pom poms...I pushed through the color of people in front of me all crowded around the winning star...Mr. Boyfriend.

Oh yes.

His eye's caught mine as I slipped my arm's around his neck, showing off my winning smile then diving in and capturing his lips in mine.

Startled.

He froze for a few seconds before immediately throwing out a response and squeezing my waist affectionately.

Wait for it...wait for it...wait...wait...

Slowly, but surely I pulled away...not looking into his eye's but..._hers_.

A mixture of emotions covered her face and shielded her eye's...disbelief...anger...sadness...

Regret..?

Ya.

That's right.

Cut your crap already and face the fact that you have no idea what your doing...he would _never _want you...give it up...give it up...skank-no.

Your not quite pretty enough...you-

_-Wow...would you shut-up already? That's sick. She's your sister. Deal with it already-_

-Nope. She's not. Your wrong. Ugly and me don't mix.

_-Bitch much? Look at her...she's just got muscle..she's athletic...not everyone can have a perfect model figure like you-_

-Exactly. That's why I'm so special. Can you believe the rumors though? So sad...

_-About you and Mr. Boyfriend getting it on? What crap that is...we both know he couldn't go through with it-_

-Stop. Were done now.

Silence.

Good.

Slinging my dark blue bag over my shoulder a strong pair of arms suddenly wind themselves around my waist.

Wow...a lot of action going on today...shocker...shock...shock...so much touching...for me...who is...disappointment...disppointment...

_-Ya...now, but pretty soon he'll be all over-_

-SHUT-UP.

Silence...silence...silence...

Hmph.

"So...good game huh? Your cheer routine was amazing. _Miss dance chreographer..._"

The corner's of my mouth twisted up in a smile...a **real**..sincere...smi-stop.

The plan.

Can't ruin it...can't...can't...can't...

"I know. You were great too _superstar_." Flipping around in his arm's I noticed everyone had left...just...him and I...me and him...

He chuckled.

"Thanks." Leaning in his lips softly touched mine, a quick peck.

We went home.

_She_ wasn't there...

Perfect.

We laid out on the couch like we _used _to and flipped on some Netflix...searching to find a movie...searching...searching...searching...

Ya. Too many.

Boredom.

A long over-due make-out...ya?

Hell yes.

His taste drove me insane...I felt my plan slowly slip away...and for a minute I believed that maybe I should just drop everything..._fix_ everything...

Ya.

Screw the plan.

Screw the best-ie.

Screw everyone and everything.

Screw-

-well...no.

I can't...can't...can't...

Just tonight.

Without warning, I wrapped my arm's around his neck and..._desperately_ dove forward, swiftly pushing my tongue past the entrance of his mouth...

He responded quickly, wrapping his arm's around my waist tighter and pushing me closer as if it were possible...

He knows I need that close feeling...always close...close...close...

He rammed me against the couch, taking control as his hand's worked sensually all over my body...

I wrapped my leg's tightly around his waist as my tongue continued to collide in pleasure with his...his hand's dropped lower...squeezing my backside as we blindly stumbled up the never-ending spiral staricase and into the foot of his bedroom...

_-Woah...slow down. Somebody's a bit desperate..._

-Can't..._pant..._talk_...ugh_..._._now...

_-Obviously..._

My hand's gripped the back of his neck, bringing him down onto my body as we collapsed onto the dark red comforter sprawled out messily on his bed...

I felt him pull away until his mouth was on my neck, roaming it lustfully as I bit back a moan of pleasure...

Grabbing his hand's forcefully and placing them on my lower backside, I pulled him in for another kiss, distracting him from the clasp on my bra un-hooking...fully exposing my chest...something he hadn't seen in awhile...long time...very long...too long...long...long...

_Slowly_ pulling away, I arched my upper back tauntingly...grinning as his eye's widened at the sight of me, clad in nothing, but black spandex...

"Brittany..."

Slouching up against the cold wall that melted the heat radiating all over my scorching skin, spreading out my leg's as Alvin got between them, sliding his arm's around my backside comfortably...slowly lowering me onto the bed once again...I felt myself become caught in a hazy dizzy-like state, yet grinning madly...knowing the affect I was leaving...

"Come on Seville...you know you've been wanting a peak, so now your getting a show..." Smirking as his lip's captured mine yet again...I felt his hand's start to explore my _front _side...and my whole body erupt in rapturous ecstasy...no tense muscle's...no haunting memories...just me and him...it was exhilarating, but there was still something else...

Blinded by lust I almost let go of the familiar warm tingly feeling spreading throughout my whole body...it was familiar...very familiar...but I couldn't place it...well...

Not with my plan.

Which was still in action.

Just..not tonight.

_Just tonight_...

With that I practically ripped off his shirt and hungrily wrapped my tongue around his own...

Just a bit of kinky fun...nothing more.

We couldn't go all the way...I couldn't go through that again...with him...him..._stopping_...again...again...again...waiting...waiting...

He'll stop eventually...he always does.

It's probably because we aren't really in love anymore-oh.

That's what that feeling was...warm tingly...ya.

Love.

No...no...no...push it aside...push it aside...

We are not there anymore...

Plan...plan...yes.

The plan.

Our time is up, but she _still _can't have him...he doesn't want her anyway...she's gross.

_-You just keep telling yourself that...**cold **heart..._

-_**Cold heart**_? Really...? Hah. Good one. Your pathetic.

Our bodies melted together like warm chocolate...and in that moment everything was back to normal...no more anxiety...nothing...no one...screw everything...just him and I.

Yep.

Love.

Hmm.

I still can't let go...

Stupid plan.

* * *

**Authors Note**

**So...it's getting a bit intense as certain things from the past, present, and future are un-locked from brittany's mind...and it's still kinda thrown around...(I know)..but everything will come together in the ending and each chapter will just keep revealing more and more. :] ****So please review! Tell me your thoughts!**

**Again. Sorry for my horrible grammar! I know it's awful!**

**I don't need to be reminded ;)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Review!**

**Ya...? ;)**

**-Kaleigh!**


	5. Testing Your Limits

**Authors Note**

**Enjoy chapter 5! Thanks for reading! :)**

**-Kaleigh!**

**

* * *

**

Drip...drop.

Drip...drop.

Drip...drop.

Stop.

Don't let it take affect...no...no...no...no...

Another argument. Another fight.

Drip...drop.

Drip...drop.

_Just tonight_...

Slipping away...oh...no...no...

Absolutely not.

Thank-you plan, but nobody else gets it...they're so blind...he's so blind...blind...blind...blind...

He's too busy...

So blind...

Set into motion...the plan...yes...yes...

It's time for this to disappear forever and always...

Drip...drop.

Drip...drop.

_Forever and always..._

Ya.

Apparently not...

* * *

_Shallow...conceited...disrespectful...never cares...vain..._

I can't even imagine what she must think of me, but then again...the more my mind buzzes with poison...the more I don't care.

I can already hear her voice overflow my thoughts...this could be good, but right now it kills...it's painful...right now I am above reason...

"_God Brittany! Do you ever think of anyone, but yourself! How could you do that to me! You were right there! I can't even believe you right now! Do you even care? Ever?"_

She is the equivalent of nothing...and I am the goddess of everything.

Ya.

I don't care.

* * *

This is all an excruciating game and I am stuck.

I am stuck deep within the clutches of the never-ending maze and it's all my fault...because only those who truly deceive themselves by trying to handle intense pressure under the society they live in can enter the maze...can _create_ the maze...

This is my maze, but how can I get out? Every direction I follow and every corner I turn brings me back to the beginning...

Is there a secret code? A sign? A signal? Anything? Anywhere? Ever?

Once you enter the maze...confusion...agony...regret...guilt...guilt...guilt...so much guilt...overtake your mind and soul and it's all because of the truth.

The truth hurts...it hurts _real _bad...but reality is what created this, so it must be much worse...

_Much worse..._

_

* * *

_

Soccer_._

"_That was incredible! Your even better than your sister! You need to be on the team right away as captain-_

"_But...Ellie is captain. I can't just take away her spot...and I already-_

"_Oh she'll be fine...you would be a great talent to have on the team...we could make it too champion-_

"_Thanks for the incredible offer, but I'm going to have to decline. I have a duty as captain of the cheer squad...sorry..."_

Soccer is _her _sport...

Not mine...

Ya.

"He shoots...and he...SCORES! Hah! Take that!"

"Whatever Alvin that was so unfair, you totally shoved me out of the way..."

"I did not! It was just a little..._push_...to get you to move...so I could...score...hehe..."

Rolling my eye's at their pathetic little quarrel's, bored to tear's, I found myself getting up from the bleacher's and stepping out onto the dark green grass, cut to perfection for boy's soccer season...

I wasn't really the athletic type when it came to...anything, considering I would much rather have my make-up stay on...and my clothing _not _stick humidly to my body, but I enjoyed cheer-leading...the intense cheer's and stunting...I could even kick ass in Volleyball too, but soccer...

Well...I _did_ play in mini-mod with Ellie when we were younger and a few game's here and there with Sean, Garrett, and Aiden...so I think I could _probably_ take on my sister...I already knew I was a faster runner than she was..._obviously_, and I knew she thought I had no chance...so what she didn't know just this _once_...wouldn't hurt her...

"Ok Ellie, you and me...one on one...now." I stated blandly, showing no emotion whatsoever as I lightly started performing a few quick stretches...

Eleanor and Alvin abruptly stopped talking, but instead turned to me with incredulous look's pasted on their face's...

_Oh if only you knew..._

Varsity captain.

_I could still take it away..._

"Your..joking...right?" Forcibly grabbing the ball from her hand's, and juggling it on top of my thigh's... feet...chest...and lastly my...head, then letting it drop lifelessly to the ground before digging my foot directly under it and kicking it with little force, causing the ball to do a perfect chip into the net...I turned back to her...

"Does that look like a joke to you? Hurry up...I'm bored. Alvin your reffing..."

Eleanor continued staring at me in pure shock as Alvin finally snapped out of his trance and started lightly jogging over to the net to get the ball...

"I didn't think you could...play soccer...your more of the-

"Yeah...yeah whatever..get over it...it's not like I have _no_ athletic ability at all...I just choose not to do sport's...being head cheerleader is enough...don't you think?" Eleanor looked down at the ground, before frustratingly rolling her eye's...she wouldn't want me to shine in some _other_ sport too...especially _her _sport...

_If only..._

Alvin eventually came back with ball, and stood in between us, getting ready to drop the black and white sphere on the count of three...

_One...two...three!_

I immediately thrust my leg at the ball, kicking it ahead a foot in front me, then dribbling it in a fast sprint, Eleanor quite a way's behind me...

_Still haven't gotten over the shock I see..._

_-Oh please...obviously your still in there somewhere if you didn't steal her spot._

-Whatever. That was a long time ago...it's still only junior year...

_-Don't even think about it **cold heart**..._

_-_God. Enough with the pathetic name already! I've got a game to dominate...

_-Ya...right._

Grinning as I finally reached the goal, watching the ball slam into the back of the pale white net...I looked back at Ellie...who was already starting to get heated as she kicked the ground out of annoyance...

"Come on Ellie...I _know _you can do better than that..." Taunting her with an intimidating stare, I wasn't at all surprised when she was the first one to touch the ball, do some fancy move around me then score effortlessly...

Smiling sweetly at her threw her off and before she knew it, I had the ball yet again, scoring..._again_..

It continued like this...getting more and more intense as each goal was scored...I would shove her _illegally_...and she would trip me...also illegal...we eventually got to nine goal's..._even_...

"Let's stop at ten..." She panted, wiping the sweat dripping off her forehead...

Flexing my back purposefully, noticing Alvin's _limited_ dazed stare, I turned to her...grinning from ear to ear...

"Why? Too tired to continue? Scared I could kick your ass any second?"

Eleanor stood up straight, looking me dead in the eye...irritation written all over her face...

"_No_...I'm just afraid that if you continue on any longer...your clothes might fall off due to the excessive sweat soaking your body..."

Smirking shamefully at her attempt for a good comeback, but clearly failing...I glanced over at Alvin seductively...taking advantage of his _unusual _deep gaze focused lustfully on my body...

"Well at least it'd give lover boy over there a show..."

Eleanor glanced over at her best friend who was preoccupied staring at me, before casting her eye's silently to the ground...

"Whatever...let's just get this over with.."

Getting in the ready position...I pierced my eye's into her's, hoping to badger her with the intense competition fiercely burning in them as Alvin counted to three for the final time...

_One...two...three!_

Eleanor quickly stole the ball and started dribbling it down the sideline's, but I caught up to her, slide tackling her..._legally_...from behind, and immediately stealing the ball as she stalled slightly, not expecting that surprising move...

Right as I was nearing the front of the goal, my foot about to send the ball flying in the back of the net, I suddenly found myself sprawled on the ground, my ankle throbbing in pain...

_Bitch..._

Pushing myself up, trying my best to ignore the intense pain shooting down my leg, but failing miserably...I turned around in time to watch as Eleanor scored the final goal...

Glaring coldly at her as she came bounding over to me in fake excitement, her eye's practically screaming payback...I leaned to the side un-balanced...almost regretting this game due to cheer leading, but too pissed to realize it...

"What the hell was that? _Illegal_ slide tackling out of _anger_ doesn't count as a win..."

Eleanor crossed her arm's over her chest, her eye's blazing...

"Who says? You certainly didn't say that the last twenty time's when you _illegally _thrust your elbow in my side!"

"That's because I was just messing around in the beginning! Don't deny that you didn't play along when you _tripped _me..._over_ and _over_. At least I don't let my anger take control of my action's..."

Eleanor scoffed, clearly un-amused at my ranting...

"Yeah right Brittany...that's all you ever do! So don't even-

"Just **shut-up** Eleanor! Now thanks to your dumb ass move I might not be able to cheer! Do you _know _what that mean's? Hmm? Do you?" Taking a wobbly step forward, fists balled at my side...my eye's sliced through her's like a knife..._sharply_ piercing them in full on rage...

Eleanor let her arm's fall to her side, her angry expression faltering as she swallowed hard...letting her nerve's get the best of her...

_So weak..._

Letting out a bitter laugh, crossing my arm's in front of me...I continued..

"I guess you wouldn't would you? Seeing as how you...oh I don't know...spend less time looking in the mirror and more time _not _focusing on your invisible social life in fear that you might actually see the truth...a huge _round_ face...and body...made up of nothing but cellulite...it's _sick_..." Pausing as her eye's widened...nothing coming out of her mouth in a retort...I went on...

"And no matter how hard you try...you know...deep down...that you could _never _be as skinny as me or as beautiful...you would _never _make it as head cheerleader, let alone _a _cheerleader..._he _would _never _want you..." Grinning in pride as she sucked in a breath..holding back tear's...I watched as Alvin rushed over to us...

_It's about time..._

Sucking in a sharp breath as he turned over my foot, examining my ankle carefully and frowning upon the _now_ huge, ugly bruise already forming into this mass swirl of purple and green...not to mention the mass swelling...

_Hmm...an un-perfection..._

Eleanor remained silent as Alvin questioned her action's, lecturing her on how she shouldn't have done that...no matter how pissed she was...considering it could now affect my position as head cheerleader...

Pausing.

Staring deeply into his eye's as if to question why he suddenly left _her _defenseless and not me...for once.

Questioning the fact on how I could possibly be winning again...more than once.

Finally, she nodded her head emotionlessly...then started walking away...muttering something about calling Theodore to have him come and pick her up...

Alvin turned his attention back to me, his deep blue eye's full of concern...

"Are you ok? Is it still throbbing?"

Looking it over before lightly tapping the bruise, I swallowed hard...bitterly biting down on my lip to keep back another gasp of pain..

"Yep...still hurt's like hell...do you think it's like...broken or something?"

Alvin kneeled down next to me, examining it once more before carefully lifting me into his arm's...extremely cautious of my leg...

"Nah...trust me if it was...you'd be bawling in pain...it's probably just a bit sprained, it should heal in a few day's..."

Tightening my grip around his neck as he walked out to his car...my eye's widened in realization at the upcoming double back-to-back game's on Saturday..._this _Saturday...

"Shit! Are you serious? I have _two _games this Saturday... we suppose to practice for like _five whole freaking_ hour's on Friday!"

"I know...I know...don't worry about it,...it might...uhh..._should..._heal by then-

"Might! What a _bitch_..." Scanning the parking lot, my eye's landing on Eleanor standing just a few feet away from Alvin's car..._ironically _texting away endlessly on her cell...obviously ignoring everything and..._everyone _around her...I seethed in anger, roughly forcing myself out of Alvin's grip..

After landing painfully on the ground, I hesitated, trying to neglect the fact that I had this intense pain that felt like glass shard's being pierced through my ankle in tiny pieces...

"I hope your happy Eleanor! I might have to miss _both _of the game's on Saturday thanks to your little stunt earlier! And I sure as hell know I'll have to be coaching my girl's from the sideline's at practice tomorrow, let's hope _I_ at least have time to practice before the game considering I'm going to be busy all freaking morning and night taking care of my _now _injured foot!"

Eleanor casually glanced up from her phone, before flipping me the finger...a look of disgust on her face..

"Screw you..."

_Shocker_...

Furiously taking an un-steady step forward...my whole body heating up due to the fierce feeling of what felt like fire coursing deeply through my vein's...my mind scrambled to find a witty comeback..

"I'm surprised that word is in your vocabulary _Eleanor_...I know _nothing_ could have_ possibly_ tapped you yet, they might die of disgust...that is if you hadn't already _crushed _them first..."

Eleanor dropped her phone, her whole body shaking in fury as her eye's blazed into mine...

_That's right...feel the burn. _

_Feel the intense anger rippling through your body like-_

At that exact moment I felt a pair of familiar arm's lift me up and away from my sister.

Ignoring my protests and struggle against their tight grip, I quickly found myself trapped in the passenger seat of Alvin's car, the door locked digitally by code...a rather _annoying _feature...

Alvin told Eleanor that enough was enough, and instigating the situation to further height's of fighting wasn't helping anything...

_Maturity?_

_My Alvin?_

_Where...?_

_When...?_

I continued to glare menacingly at Eleanor as Alvin backed out of the parking lot and immediately took off for home...finally escaping the intense wrath between my sister and I...

"Why would you say that? I've _never _heard you say something that harsh to _any _of your sister's before...I know she injured you, but-

"But what? Who care's...she'll get over it...she deserved it anyways...all thanks to her...I _really_ hope I'm a fast healer..." I seethed, crossing my arm's angrily over my chest..

"I think you'll be able to cheer Britt...just chill out and forget about it. Geez...I've never seen you two so pissed at one another..."

"Yeah...we'll...get used to it...because it's going to be like this a _lot _more often..." Alvin looked over at me in confusion and sighed, moving his hand away from the steering wheel and instead intertwining it in one of mine..

_So much touching..._

_So surprising..._

"It'll be fine...ok?"

Breaking my hand free of his, I stared coldly out the window...

"Whatever..."

No...no it won't be fine.

You wouldn't understand...

_Nobody ever understands..._

_

* * *

_

**Authors Note**

**Sooo...? What did ya think? Liked it? Loved it? Let me know by reviewing! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this everyone! AND reviewing! I LUV you guys! =D**

**-Kaleigh**


	6. Pretend

**Authors Note-**

**Thank you for the amazing reviews! :D Enjoy!**

**-Kaleigh!**

* * *

"_We are what we __**pretend**__ to be, so we must be careful about what we __**pretend **__to be..." -Kurt Vonnegut._

* * *

_In the backseat..._

_In the backseat..._

_So I can be your backseat driver..._

_In the backseat..._

_I wanna get your smile up..._

_In the backseat..._

_In the backseat..._

_So I can be your backseat driver..._

_Aye girl what's up all of this dancing get you off girl!_

_I know you ain't a newbie cuse your friends is freaking starstruck!_

_And do you got more of that? Hell no this ain't no shy swag!_

_God the way you gettin' low babe...your killing me...quit playin with your fine ass!_

The music blasts through the walls at a fast rhythm...matching my swag perfectly as I dance effortlessly to the intense sound of the flow of the beat.

Until my love for dancing is ruined by their extreme...

Touching.

Too close for comfort...

They're all here again.

Touching me with their lusty hands...staring at me with their desperate eye's...groping at my beauty and twisting it into a mix of uncomfortable pleasure...and number forty is invisible.

He is nowhere to be seen...you would think the star quarterback would show up for the wild party where all of his friends are, but no.

Even I ask politely it's a no.

Even if I throw a fit it's a no.

Even if I beg it's a no.

So I flip out in frustration and leave. Not wanting to dwell on why he wouldn't want to come...because the truth kills...

His loss is my loss, but he wouldn't know that...

He does beg for me to stay, but I don't...I leave anyways...I ignore the desperation in his voice that shocks me to the core, but I don't care.

So maybe it's my fault for leaving...but this life...and this pressure...and my _best-friend_...

Ya.

I don't really have an option _babe_ and...

_I don't care_...

Right...?

I know he thinks I get drunk and leave all responsibility and normal state of mind behind...not giving a care, but if he paid more attention...then _maybe_...just _maybe_...

He would see the truth.

This is the truth...

But shh...let's keep it a secret...because nobody else knows because their in a different state of mind at the moment, but I am not.

I am smarter than them...

I am aware.

I am observant.

I am _not _like the blonde who owns this house...

I am _not _trash.

Maybe if he would come...then he would see...then he would...he would...he would...

_Maybe_...

He would see...see...see...the...the...see...

_The truth_...

My hands shove them away...but their persistent little dirty freaks...they try and try and push and push, so I push back with more force...trying not to break down and cry out of fright and frustration...

I am left defenseless and helpless.

My friends are all wasted; Especially, the_ host_...the "_best-friend_" because all she cares about is getting drunk off her ass and getting some (even though she is "exclusive" with someone else...)...because she is a desperate piece of **trash**, but that's ok because she is my "best friend", so I won't judge her, but I won't help her either...she seems like she's doing fine...

Right..?

I am **not** fine though...I am still struggling and I wish _Mr. Boyfriend _was here...if I could wish for anything that would be it because now I am stumbling at the force of their strength through the upstairs hallway...they are obviously wasted as they shove me onto the thick dark red linen scrunched up over the bed...and now I am really...really...really...**really**...freaking out as their tongue breaks through my mouth...

"_It's ok..."_

"_I know you want this..."_

"_Just relax..."_

"_You...so...hot..."_

Why do all guys always think you "want it" just because they do?

Oh wait...it's his mind...it's playing tricks on him right now...and I bet before our "forced" encounter he saw people dancing crazily downstairs without their heads on...

**Rule #1- Don't drink the punch. Don't drink the water. Don't drink the bottles. Don't take an offer for something cold, hot, warm, or frozen. Don't delay when you hear the words "drink", "upstairs", and "fine" in the same sentence. **

Most important rule...

**Keep a trusted friend nearby...**

Where are you number 40?

"_Oh my god you've been drinking...haven't you? Why are you late again Brittany? It's a good thing Dave is gone because you would be-_

"_What a shock. Late again huh? How many times are you going to sneak through the back sliding door before you come up with something new? Why-_

"_Why did you go? Seriously? Every freaking time Brittany! That's all you do**-don't get defensive**! I'm just looking out for you and you just keep going not giving a fuc-_

"_You've been drinking again...haven't you?"_

Correction Mr._ Boyfriend._

I have **never** been wasted.

Ever.

It's all _their_ fault...

Maybe you would see if you came...maybe you wouldn't talk to them or share sweat with them...

_Maybe..._

If they are friends with _him _then why do they violate me like this...why...why...why?

My body temperature heats up as my nerves reach their breaking point...I can't believe I am in this situation again.

It's pitch black, so I don't know who this is, but right as my hot pink bra shines through the the dark of the night I flip out and use everything I have left and hurl it back at them...

Their caught off guard and fall off the bed in surprise.

Hurriedly flipping my shirt back on...I make a quick decision to turn back once more and find out who my killer is.

Almost immediately I know who it is and now I feel nauseous as I make my way to the living room to warn his _girlfriend_...my _best friend_...

She freaks out...and the alcohol makes everything worse..._so much worse_...

"He tried to take advantage of me Whit...I...I don't even know..it was scary...he-

**SLAP!**

Ouch.

Massive stinging pain in my left cheek and now I feel trapped...confused...scared...very...very...scared...

Regret.

Wish I was surrounded by family...friends..._boyfriend_-no.

For this crazy beautiful life...you **must** forget them.

They are **nothing**. You are _everything_.

_Perfect..._

This is a sacrifice you **must** be willing to make...

"_YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH! HOW COULD YOU ACCUSE HIM OF SUCH A THING! NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU BRITTANY! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU!"_

"No I'm serious! Whit...Whit...he..he tried to-

"_Just...SHUT-UP! I HATE YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU SLUT! GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!"_

My stomach does major flip-flops on the run out the front door and my body clenches as the bile makes its way up and out of my throat and onto the small bushes on the side of the house...

My body is shaking full force now...I don't even think I can drive...luckily I still have my purse with me, but who to call...who to call...who to call...

Even though _Mr. Boyfriend _wasn't there last time this happened...I might as well call him for help this time...I need him...I can't even remember _the plan_ in this blur of intense emotions rippling throughout my screaming body...

My words are blurred through the cell phone, but he gets it and he's here in seconds...

I let my defenses break down because right now I am in so much shock and pain...I don't even care...I don't even remember...

My hands curl tightly around the blades of his shoulder and he asks me what happened, but I can't respond as more and more tears tighten my ability to speak...

My body won't stop shaking.

Even after he pulls me into the car, I am still freaking out...I won't even sit in the front seat, so he has no choice, but to keep me uncomfortably on his lap as he frantically drives home.

No one is there...which is surprising, but at the moment it doesn't matter.

He carries me up and into his bedroom...immediately pulling my body close to his.

His hands stoke my backside...up and down...up and down...up and down...

I can tell he's really trying to get me to calm down and I'm positive he feels bad for letting me attend the party alone or at least not being able to protect me in some way...but at least he came.

That's all that matters...

_Right...?_

Finally my breathing slows...the beating of my heart is back to normal...and I can actually comprehend what's happening in the moment.

I am disappointed at myself for becoming so weak, so quickly, but I push it aside and feel relieved for the moment anyway...

"What happened Britt...?"

My body tenses and I realize that I am still in a bit of shock...I don't think I can talk about it...too much...too much...too soon...

Shaking my head...I bury myself deeper into him...desperate for his warmth and comfort to surround me in a safe cocoon filled with no worries...

"Come on Britt...you know you can tell me anything..."

Looking up...my eyes are quickly drawn to his and I shove all of the pain, anxiety, and fear into him from tonight to get him to drop the dreadful subject...

My eye's swell up with more tears and he does.

He wipes them away and doesn't say a word as he softly kisses my forehead and pulls me tighter to him...protecting and comforting me in every way possible, but all I can think about is how this shouldn't have happened this way...

Of how a real boyfriend would have gone to the party with me...

Of how a real boyfriend would have been more cautious for my safety...

Of how a real boyfriend wouldn't have let _them_ lay a hand on me...

But...how could he have done that if he doesn't even have a clue?

A real boyfriend would be less dumb...

A real boyfriend would be more observant...more _aware_...

A _real _boyfriend...

What happened?

* * *

_Pretend_.

Let's play a game.

The rules are simple.

Drop those who matter most. Dress to impress. Act like a bitch. Listen to a trashy whore. Oh and don't be afraid to let everyone know your...

_Perfect._

The most important rule?

DON'T you DARE break any of these rules...because if you do then you WILL endure the humiliation of losing the _perfect _title, the crazy _beautiful _life, and the non-stop _attention_.

**Warning**.

Extreme anxiety may occur due to the lack of normalcy you surround yourself in-

Due to the lack of non-pressure, but instead intense pressure that makes your body heat up in pain-

Due to the lack of warmth from those whom you dropped-

Due to the lack of sweet attitude that left your soul-

Due to the lack of freedom that doesn't mean getting partied out till you drop-

Due to the lack of love, but instead harsh words thrown around at one another-

Due to the lack of-

Due to the lack of-

Due to the lack of...you.

_Warning_...

You may lose a part of yourself in this game, but don't worry...just relax and..._allow_ the change...the transformation of the "_new_" you as you turn that first corner because now you won't be able to get out.

_Warning_...

The maze doesn't have an escape route once you complete the change...

**Warning**...**warning**...**warning**...

Congratulations.

You have completed phase one of the change.

You are now entering the maze.

**Warning**.

Now you can't get out.

Now you can't get out.

Now you can't get out.

You can't get out.

You can't get out.

You can't get out.

You can't get out.

You can't get out.

You can't get out.

You can't get out.

_Warning_...

This is _not _a game.

* * *

**Authors Note-**

**Oooo...intense! Lol. PLEASE review! It would really make my day! Thanks again everyone! =D**

**-Kaleigh!**


	7. Disbelief With A Side Of Dread

**Authors Note- **

**OH MY GOSH! It's been FOREVER! I know! I know! This isn't good, but school was killing me and then summer things! So anyway…..after that SUPER LONG wait… I hope you all enjoy chapter 7! =) SOOO very sorry everyone!**

**RE-READ CHAPTER SIX TO REFRESH YOUR MEMORY! =)**

**-Kaleigh!**

**P.S(**ATTENTION READERS….GRAMMAR in this story isn't amazing…..I KNOW! In some cases this is **on purpose**! Sorry! Please ignore! It is bearable enough to read! Promise!**) (:**

* * *

Weeks pass on….and on….and…..on…..and then…where does this lead me? Oh right.

To the beginning of my love suicide.

His love suicide.

Our love suicide.

_Suicide_.

I only have few people to thank.

First it would be myself for "fucking up" everything and him for **not** paying enough attention…ever…and then…..

Her.

A "so-called" relation to me.

Me! The one who is _flawless_ while she's just…disgusting. Nothing.

That's what she is…she's….nothing.

Yet…he sees some sort of sunlight in her ugly demeanor just as he use too in my eye catching beauty, but now everything is faded and worn like an over-used, old pair of jeans.

She is the new pair and I am the old.

I am the beast and she is the beauty.

Inside she is happy…..really…._for real_….happy….while I am not, but…

I pretend I am….on the outside.

It's only when I enter the maze…..and I get sucked into its scary mix of what is the truth and what is fake and then….I crumble.

I fall down…..down…..down…down…..down….and it hurts. Everything hurts. I see the truth and…..

**The. Truth. Always. Hurts.**

She has risen and I have fallen…..it has taken months for me to have come to this conclusion, but its reality.

Something I must face.

It's going to be a challenge, but I'm me and though I actually _can't _handle everything like _they _all think I can, I will handle this.

I will rise again and find that happy place where the sun shines and the rain cries tears of joy and not depressing tears of agony…

I am **done **playing _their _games.

I am going to escape their stupid games and start becoming me again.

The maze isn't a game and though I have completed phase one of the maze that still keeps me on a tight hold.

I will get out.

I will turn that corner and run into the place that I am meant to be because I am me.

Not Brittany Seville the stunningly, beautiful head cheerleader who is a huge bitch, flirty, and a hell of good time.

No.

Brittany who is now even _more_ confident than before because she escaped the intense heartache of peer pressure, painful liars, a fake best friend who twists my mind until I can't breathe and….._her_.

_Him_….

_Them_.

Two people who were never supposed to bring me pain brought me the most out of everything and everyone.

I can break past the manipulative, strong vines of the maze to the other side because…I am Brittany Seville.

And no one will **ever **change me…

* * *

Distance.

The distance grows greater between us more and more as each painful day passes…and it sucks.

Ever since the night of the dreadful party, when he was actually there for me…..suddenly everything changed and now he is nowhere to be found….

I'm walking silently through the noisy halls…unusually not surrounded by my girls. One of them of course has ruined my life….ruined _everything_ for me, so she is officially out of the crowd I call my own.

Screw that blonde bitch.

Screw Mr. Boyfriend…..and…..and _her_. My own flesh and blood.

Screw them.

Opening my locker then stuffing away my boring text books…I swiftly close it only to be met by a pair of soft blue eye's.

"I heard about what happened with Whitn-

"Don't. Say. Her. Name. I don't care. I was growing bored of her stupid antics anyways….she needs to grow up."

Piercing my eye's ahead of me I started to furiously walk away. Hearing _her _name made my blood boil to no end. Some _bestie _she was…..

Madison called out my name. Quickly following behind me. Easily letting go of Whitney because she shares the same passion for that fake slut as I do…she just never spoke out about it.

Plus…I'm the most popular girl in school…..who would you stay with?

"Wait! What are you going to do about prom? Are you still wearing the pink Betsy Johnson dress we bought months ago? Are you even going with Alvin? I don't see you guys together much ever since-

Immediately stopping in my tracks. I cut her off disbelievingly.

"Oh my god Maddee! Of course I'm still going with him….he_ is_ my boyfriend isn't he? And we've both just been busy….it's nothing."

Madison averted her eye's not believing the last part of my sentence one bit.

"Brittany I'm sorry. I've seen him with your sister-

Sucking in a sharp breath then bringing my hands up to the bridge up my nose out of nerves and pain….pain that was flashing through my mind just as intensely as it has been these past months…..I was already feeling defenseless.

"You've seen nothing! Their just friends!"

"I don't know Brittany….they always meet up together-

"Madee! Stop! Just stop! Your wrong and you know it! I have to go now….I'll see you at cheer. You need more practice if you want to actually look good _for once_ at tomorrow's game."

Madison cast her eye's to the ground in silence. Probably feeling hurt.

It hurt me to see her this way. It really did because I'm trying to make a change. Now that I've cast Whitney away as my friend for good….she can't control me anymore….or influence me to do such horrible thing's to everyone around me.

I miss me…the old me. I couldn't even believe how much I had grown into a selfish bitch becoming just like Whitney….so blinded…too blind to even see…..see _them_…together…always so close….

_-If you don't slow down you're going to freak out. You can fix this. I know you can._

-I doubt it. I really doubt it.

Hurriedly rushing away from Madee I proceeded to get home and soak away my rippling anxiety in a soaking hot bath, but even that couldn't mend the pain I had been tortured through these past months.

* * *

Three minutes left.

The black and white ball spirals through the air….he catches it on his chest effortlessly.

Dribble….fancy move…dribble…

Two minutes…..one minute….

SCORE!

Shocker.

I force my lips to curve up into a wide smile as I cheer as loud as possible trying to make it echo…trying to get his attention…._as always_…trying to get him to _hear_ me…_as always_…trying to get him to _see _me…not her….I was supposed to be the pretty one…I was supposed to be worth it…..not the ugly one….not….

_Worthless._

Doesn't he see? Shouldn't someone who has known you forever know these things?

Why is he so blind?

Why….why does he have to make me feel so worthless?

_Why…_

* * *

Locker Room.

The lights are as dimly lit as the glow in my heart. My whole body feels defeated and it's not because of my astounding performance I forced myself through tonight…not even close.

"Well if it isn't Ms. Popular…"

My head immediately whipped around at the sound of _her _voice.

"You look tired Brittany….how weird considering you just _rocked _tonight's game…as usual of course."

Rolling my eye's in annoyance I quickly stood up, swiftly grabbing my blue and white cheer bag and abruptly turning around toward the exit.

"Wait Brittany! I just came to tell you that I saw your so called _boyfriend _leaving with…..well…I'm sure you know…."

My whole body froze in shock upon hearing her actually have the nerve to bring this up….of her knowing so much…._too much_…

"Man…that must really suck. And I thought _you _were supposed to be the pretty one….the _perfect _one. I wonder what he sees in her because whatever it is….it's obviously something you're lacking. Hmmm….well I guess Alvin just isn't really the type to date a…._bitch_."

I bit down on my bottom lip…_hard_. Wishing that the words she had just slammed into my face would stop stabbing my eye's to the point of tears cascading down my cheeks.

I'm the victim now. This is what I had done to other people and now…I know how it feels….and it…hurts.

Whitney came towards me…..smirking deeply in pride, for she had the reigns while I had nothing….for once.

"I'll see you at practice on Monday _best friend_….hmph…_not_."

When Whitney's laughter started to die down I booked it out of the locker room, running full speed towards my car and shakily shoving the key into the ignition to make the car go…..just go….go….go and get out of there.

Away from her and all this crap…..just away. I was horrified at her hateful words shot directly at me and I felt stiff. _I felt like I couldn't breathe._

After parking the car crooked in the driveway I immediately swung open the door to the house and ran across the other side to not my bedroom, but his….I needed him. I didn't care if he didn't need me because….I just didn't care.

I couldn't event think straight.

Slowing my steps I started to call out his name, but noticed the door was closed.

Crinkling my eyebrows in confusion, I carefully opened the door and suddenly…I felt a constriction in my chest. Where my heart was located there was an intense burning feeling that struck as fast as lightning…shoving its way all through my body making me feel numb and in excruciating agony at the same time.

My own sister was locking lips with…._him_.

Mr. Boyfriend.

Upon hearing the door open and seeing the shock on my face, Alvin lightly pushed her away while she just stared at me through wide eyes….her face dripping with mass surprise….and regret.

She looked sick.

And him...

He was just as shell-shocked as she was.

I'm sure she was probably waiting for me to scream and yell at her to no end. Just waiting for me to turn on _bitch Brittany _because that is how I had been these past months. A huge, selfish…._bitch_.

But no.

Instead I let out a shaky breath of disbelief and clutched my stomach to no end ….I felt sick….really….really….sick.

So I ran.

_-See….I told you this would happen. You knew this was coming…._

Down the stairs.

_-You've pushed him away because you let yourself become like Whitney…_

Out the front door.

_-This is all your fault..._

I just ran...and ran.

I kept running because I felt like I couldn't stop and I felt that if I did stop I would have to face reality and if I had to face Reality then I would have to enter the maze and…..

No one _ever _wants to enter the maze…

* * *

**Sooo…what did you guys think? Brittany just saw Alvin and Eleanor kissing….well I guess she kind of deserved it by the way she had been acting, but they never took time to see all that she had been going through, so…..maybe not?**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Again…sooo sorry for the SUPER LATE updating! I'll be quicker next time! Sorry this chapter is short too! :/ Not good I know!**

**-Kaleigh!**


	8. A Shocking Difference

**Authors Note-**

AHHHH ITS BEEN SOO LONG! I know! I know! I'm soooo sorry to keep you all waiting! But here it is! Enjoy! =D THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS EVERYONE! YOUR ALL SO AMAZING!

**-Kaleigh**

**RE-READ CAHPTER SEVEN TO REFRESH YOUR MEMORY OR SCAN IT...WHATEVER...JUST GO BACK SO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING! =D THANK-U!**

* * *

Stupid games and.….cards.

A lovely house of cards.

A house of cards that had once been so extraordinarily perfect on the outside. People would stare at the house in awe because of its extreme perfection and beauty in every single fine edge and line blended beautifully in its structure, but what was inside? They couldn't see could they?

Inside the house was hollow…the house was hollow because someone had cut out all of its DNA and replaced it with theirs…._she_ threw-up all over the inside and took control….and suddenly….the outside of the house of cards didn't look so beautiful anymore….

No.

The house of cards on the outside grew colder and colder as the inside shown its way through those fine lines and edges breaking it's very existence and creating something new….something horrible….something….something…..

Ugly.

Not beautiful….not something to stare at in awe or to look up to, but especially something not…_perfect_.

_Down…..down…..down….._

So down the house fell when it could no longer take it anymore. The house collapsed when _he_ cut its heart out…a heart that was already dying, but he was so blind…..so….so…blind….that he couldn't see the mess created on the inside….and god…..the house was just so good at hiding…..the house's mask was so thick….no one could really see….but...most of all…

He couldn't see.

And now…..

The house was stripped to nothing. He…_she _just took it all away.

Everything.

The sun….the moon…the stars…..everything.

Now the house was sitting all alone in the dark and was as stolid as ever. Maybe it was the house's fault though? It didn't do a very good job at keeping that blonde best friend…AN-_(_**Whitney**_)…_safely on the outside….instead the house let her completely renovate the inside when it didn't even need to be re-done….so it really was the house's fault…..all the house's fault….

And _him….._the one who made the house feel like no one else ever could….who made the house feel completely free and happy as a summer's day **every **day he walked through its doors and snuck his way through on the inside. Yet _he _was the one who tore out the core of the house….the very center that kept it stable and up and running…..the soul….the very center that held everything perfectly in place….

The heart.

And it sucks because…._she…_…(**Eleanor) AN-(**This is just to clear up confusion….that's why I I'm showing the names of **Whitney** and **Eleanor**…Continue!)…..the one who's DNA is genetically intertwined with hers was a part of it.

Now that the house was empty….how could it sever ties with everyone it had deeply cut? Where would it get the will back to fight? Where was the house even supposed to start? By cleaning up itself and the damage it caused before more important matters? How?

But…

It really was just so sad….so **absolutely** **depressing** because now the house really _did _need a renovation, but of course you have to start with the center….the core….the very middle that keep everything so completely stable and…_perfect_…

Except…

Even though it could clean up everything around it….making it all beautiful once again…..

You can't really fix a heart.

* * *

It was probably the best for him right? She was. _Her _own sister. I mean if she, _herself_ wasn't the best for him then he would be stuck. That's why he chose her own sister over her very self…..at least that was the main reason right? Otherwise he would be stuck….he **was **stuck being with her.

But with _her _he wasn't….he was free….he was un-stuck…..he was himself…he was who _he _was…..there was just one problem…..

When he was with me….I wasn't myself….so he was dating a completely different person….it wasn't the real me….

It was a clone of…._her_.

Whitney.

The _instigator_….and….

The soul-sucker…so….

He technically he broke up with _her_….the prissy partying maniac….not me.

Not Brittany….._not me_…

* * *

You really do learn every time you bleed…don't you?

_Bleeding heart….._

I've been stressing these past couple of weeks over everything I've done and worrying about every second like it was my very last one…..and truly for the first time….the _first time_…

When I looked in that crystal glass mirror and saw a cold hearted bitch staring me back in the face….I couldn't have ever felt much more worse for the past year and half. I had neglected those I loved especially _him_….Alvin.

I drove him away and everything….literally everything around me collapsed until I had absolutely nothing left. It was time for change.

_Time to change…_

* * *

Two weeks.

I hadn't spoken to anyone…..I had stressed out a rather long apology to Jeanette for my behavior this past year, but as for anyone else other than my cheer coach, the principle, and a few other people.

I hadn't said a word….and that was it.

That was the remedy….to take myself away from the social spotlight and soak myself in much more important matters.

That's really all it took. That's all it took for me to start renewing myself.

I started by turning in my blue and white cheer uniform…..one of the things I loved the most….but I needed a break.

I came to fly and to rise back up again…and if letting go of one of the things I loved was what I had to do…then I would.

It wasn't all about me anymore….it was about them…._everyone else_.

Bye screaming crowds yelling almost defiantly at the players on the court or running quickly on the deep, dark green field.

Bye long hours of intense practice, mixing complicated upbeat tracks, staying after school to put up bunches of colorful posters, and coming up with new cheer routine ideas.

So...bye cheerleading.

Bye fun…

Bye…._life_.

* * *

It was amazing.

I walked the familiar halls of her high school feeling refreshed…..feeling different…..feeling….

Nice.

I had already dressed appropriately this morning. Instead of my usual short, tight skirt attire and loose, cut-off the shoulder tops I rocked a much more mature style. Just a casual pair of white skinny jeans, a light pink blouse, and moderate two inch nude-painted heels.

My dirty blonde hair was smoothed back neatly in a high ponytail that swished confidently every time I took a step forward. As if to show some euphoric, happy feeling. A wonderful stress-free feeling that radiated off my demeanor.

It _was _amazing.

Finally reaching my first period class, I waved a casual hello to a few people before sitting neatly in my seat. The teacher immediately cast me an odd look seeing as how I was usually absent during this period, but eventually she smiled brightly and I breathed in the un-familiar scent of kindness. I had almost forgotten how good it felt to have someone smile genuinely at you, so I quickly returned the gesture then got out my pink spiral notebook and mechanical pencil to start taking notes.

I was so busy and caught-up in my brand new independent little world of mine that I almost forgot something…something so _very _important….

_They _were in this class.

A couple seat's behind me….sitting side-by-freaking-side.

Weird right? Maybe it makes sense now though…..without me here they really had time to bond and collaborate with one another. They had time to intertwine their heart and soul into their oh-so joyful words that spewed constantly out of their mouths. Which means that they had plenty of time to talk about throwing footballs and kicking soccer balls and how fun it would be to start dating even though the boy has a girlfriend who is his blonde crush's sister who neither of them knew had a mean friend who caused her major trouble, but who cares about that girl right? Who cares about a used-to-be sister and a recent ex-girlfriend…..right? So they said hey….why not make-out? Why not cheat on Brittany? No one cares about that two-faced little bitc-

"Brittany. Answer the question please. What is the scientific importance of the Bobolink bird?"

Quickly scanning my exaggerated notes for the answer I immediately found my composure once again.

"Uhh…it's that they eat rice. The Bobolink bird is a rice-eater and an extraordinary flyer."

The teacher nodded her head in approval and continued asking multiple questions to other non-alert students.

My mind was still a bit hazy though…..I almost wanted to look back, but that would be bad.

No.

No….no….no..no…..

I didn't want to look back. I couldn't look at a cheater and a DNA breaker. I couldn't bear the sight of them….I couldn't.

But I was trying to grow-up….so…maybe it was time to face them and apologize….and then maybe they would apologize too and-

No.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

They wouldn't actually apologize to me….they thought I was a cold-hearted bitch….they thought I was as conceited as a mirror and as mean as a beast.

Like from the Disney movie. The Beauty and the Beast.

Except I was the beast.

I used to be the beauty…but…..no.

Not anymore. It wasn't about me…..but they didn't know….so…they….won't…..they wouldn't…

Apologize.

No.

Breathing a sigh of relief as the annoying noise of the bell going off cut off the confusing words swirling around my mind I swiftly collected my stuff and headed for the door. Headed for freedom…..headed for-

"Woah….uhh sorry I-

Deep blue…..like the color of calm during a raging storm. Unlike mine that were the color of ice, cold…cold….ice.

Alvin.

"Ummm….it's okay Britt-uhh….I mean….."

He was struggling with his words. You could see the tiny ounce of shock painted roughly across his face….he wasn't used to a sorry from me…..of course this wasn't a **real **apology.

But still…..he wasn't used to the word coming from my mouth….

I didn't apologize. Ever.

My eyes pounded painfully into his. Could he see it? Could he see the heartbreak screaming inside the crystal blocks of ice that were my eyes? Or were his still chilling with an invisible solid layer that blinded him? Did he understand that everyone has feelings….and that everyone makes mistakes?

That I have feelings? That I make mistakes? Didn't he see it…?

Did he know that even the coldest of blocks of ice melt?

That my extremely cold blocks of ice melt?

_That my heart bleeds….._

I felt a familiar painful vibe rush through me and almost instantly regretted being so stupid to not know how to walk….just….walk….walk….

I quickly cast my eye's downward.

"Sorry…"

_Really…really...sorry. _

And that was it. I was gone. I barely even noticed the bright green pair of eye's staring at me the whole time in surprise just like….his…

But who cared. It was over now. I apologized.

_I _apologized…

A beast.

I wish I were like the Bobolink bird who could Just fly around and eat-rice all day. That way my mind wouldn't be lost in an out-of-control, never-ending place and my heart wouldn't break…..that way my heart wouldn't…..

Bleed.

* * *

9:12 PM

This brown leather sofa was comfy…..and I was just sitting….sitting…sitting….sitting….going over some homework to continue catching –up with everything before these last two months of school was up and senior year slapped me in the face.

But something seemed off….no one was home. The colossal-sized mansion usually had someone here doing something. Sounds were almost always heard all around….from every direction and empty space.

I knew Jeanette and Simon had a college meeting to go to for Harvard, Yale, and ITT for planning out their successful futures…and Theodore had some cooking thing to go too…..Eleanor did too, but I saw her leave with Alvin earlier after school…..and neither were here.

Maybe Alvin ended up going to that Football party-thing and took her with him….

But…no.

Shouldn't they be here?

There was no sound. Just silence….too much silence that it pounded my mind.

It was annoying.

Slowly standing up from the sofa, I headed for the main door in the front of the huge place I called home.

Immediately I breathed the fresh, cool air. It calmed my mind and tingled my skin. Easing my nerves and confusion. It was such a great remedy for stress. Although….I wasn't as stressed as I used to be…..

It really was wonderful.

A relaxing yawn escaped my lips and I crinkled my nose out of habit. Taking a few steps forward on to the dewy lawn, I stood there taking in the scene before me. The blackened night seemed so calm. The air was breathless…..the moon was glowing as bright as the sun…and-

What….the….hell….

There were two figures in front of me at the black stained gate on the inside. They were laughing about something….and touching….a lot….

Who were they?

Morphing my face while trying to get a better look I quickly stumbled back in shock. Almost letting a loud gasp tumble from my still lips.

No way…no….no….no…no….there was no way…no…..

No.

I knew them…I knew who they were….and I knew they wouldn't do something like this….no way…..no…no…no…..no…

Frozen I kept my eye's locked on their shaking figures from laughing so much. So many questions tore at my mind…..I felt more lost than ever.

It made me think that maybe I really wasn't the cold-hearted bitch who thought of no one but herself. I really had changed. I really was the better person. I wasn't as bad as I thought….as _they_ thought….I wasn't.

Because everyone made mistakes and everyone screwed up every now and then….everyone had their own problems that ate at their sanity and swallowed it whole. Nobody was perfect….not even _them_.

Everyone was just so-

Fake…..oh my god…..no.

My eye's widened as the figures came together….their lips locking together for a moment of pure innocence and sweetness until they broke apart shyly.

Confusion was clawing at my skull….and anticipation had left long ago….because now I really didn't know what the hell to expect next.

So I ran.

Running back inside…I quickly found my way to my bedroom and slammed the door shut out of swift surprise.

My breathing was rapid and out of tune. My legs felt weak and I was just so….confused.

But I could feel it…..I could feel myself entering that place I thought I would never be forced into ever again.

The Maze.

A deep, dark place filled with thorns that tore at your thoughts and air that choked your senses until you could no longer think clearly. The thick fog stung your eyes making it hard to see and everywhere you turned….everywhere you looked…you felt so lost….so out of place.

So….so….so lost.

But this time I didn't do anything wrong. So I didn't understand why I was here….so I felt even more confused….so I stumbled along the dusty-dirt paths of my memories more than usual. Tripping over the small pieces of emotion being tossed at me from left and right.

It wasn't my fault…..it was hers…..she was the criminal and I was the felon who had just gotten out of jail and was trying to re-new myself. She was the sneaky one who broke the law and I just stood there…..watching….and watching…..in amazement.

Right?

Because what I saw **was **wrong right? Wasn't that…wrong? Wasn't it?

Suddenly…..there it was. Hanging tauntingly in front of me….forcing me to step toward it and get closer….and closer….and closer…..closer….until I was right in front of its menacing form. My eye's tried to hold back from looking into its frightening truth….because…

_The truth always hurts….._

But not being able to hold back any longer…I re-visited a moment that just took place. A moment where two figures had come together shocking my soul and senses in every way possible.

My sister and _his _younger brother were….flirting….were touching….were…._kissing_…..were…

Cheating?

Right?

Wasn't she…._cheating _on him?

My deep blue ocean that calmed my raging storm…..that melted my cold, blocks of ice…

_Alvin…_

She was…..right?

Squeezing my eyes shut in massive confusion….I turned and ran.

I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran…until I finally reached an un-familiar corner…the corner was lush with black rose bushes like the rest of the maze around me but there was something odd…..something unusual….something extraordinarily different….

Buried behind the bushes was a thick, brown wooden door. Cautiously stepping forward….I moved away a few of the thin branches protruding out from the bushes and slowly pushed the door forward….until…..

Pink.

My dark pink and white comforter draped neatly on top of my king-sized bed was staring me clear in the face.

I was in my room.

I was back where I had started, but this time it wasn't where I had started in the Maze….it was in my room.

In my house.

_In reality…_

I had got out…..I had escaped the Maze for the very first time….there was finally a way out and I found it and got away from all the confusion and thick, foggy air, and the thick rose bushes that sliced at my mind and soul and…and….the dreadful mirror.

I had prevailed.

I escaped the truth….and it didn't hurt….because….

_It wasn't my fault._

It was _theirs…._

_It was…hers._

* * *

Oooo trippy! Lol….well weird…..Brittany's definitely a bit lost right now because of what she just saw huh? But isn't she always? Hahh….well thanks for reading!

PLEASE REVIEW! I wanna reach one hundred reviews because I've never done that before! Lol….THANK-YOU! =DDD

**-Kaleigh!**


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